Sign of the Dragon

Double Dragon, Junction, Ngong Road

"Feck it, shall we try that new Chinese place at the Junction?"

The power has been off for hours, and the pork loin I'd been planning to roast is still sitting cold and raw in the oven.  

My foul mood is going to take some serious wine to shift, but unfortunately a flick through the wine list at Double Dragon reveals a general lack of seriousness and is insultingly overpriced. We opt for a litre carafe of anonymous South African white wine, figuring that we might as well just glug on the cheapest stuff and find a quick way to oblivion.

This is where things start to go wrong. After waiting what seems like far too long for our wine, I look up to see the waiter arguing with a Chinese lady behind the bar. She is pointing in our direction and shouting. I stroll over to the bar, faking a smile.

"Is there a problem?". I notice a half litre carafe full of wine on the bar.

Our waiter replies:

"She is saying that this is one litre."

"Madam, we ordered one litre of cheap white wine. This is not one litre." I point at the measurement on the side of the carafe.

She refuses to speak or even look at me. I learn from the waiter that she is the manager.

The waiter starts up again:

"We only have half-litre carafes, so I suggested we use two".

A sensible man.

The Chinese boss starts shouting at another Chinese lady in Chinese. Together they examine the menu carefully. I point out the 1 litre carafe and the price while she shakes her head. The waiter tries to help. This cycle repeats itself four or five times until I finally give in and raise my voice:

"Madam. This problem is your problem, not my problem. You have 2 minutes to bring the wine to my table or we shall leave your restaurant and never return".

The wine comes. It is utter pish. We drink it anyway.

Our waiter is polite, and very apologetic, but this doesn't make up for the earlier scene, and the continuous, steady, cold death-stare I receive from the manager throughout my meal. The bill comes. They've overcharged for the wine. It goes back. I shout at the manager again, point at the menu again. Other diners are staring. The final bill comes - 16% tax is added to the price on the menu. It doesn't mention this on the menu. Those prawn crackers that you didn't ask for and thought were free? They'll be 440 KShs f*ckyouverymuch. 

I tell the waiter that he deserves to work in a better establishment.

The food? I take a few notes but rapidly lose the will. After all - why would you come here? To be fair, the food isn’t that bad, and the portions are decent. Sichuan shredded pork and chilli-garlic chicken are highlights that don't lean too heavily on the MSG.  Pork spare ribs have plenty of meat and crispy fat, but at 800 bob after tax I'd expect them to do a little dance for me .

As we leave my wife doesn't see me giving the manager a lingering one-fingered salute.

Johnny Bahati

Double Dragon – the lowdown

Parking: Junction mall, secure but congested

Clientele: large groups of Indians. Chinese customers notable by their absence.

Dress: Casual

Vibe: Frosty

Go for: A fight

What the others say: Blogger - ‘MrsBabes’

The damage: Dinner for two with the cheapest wine racked up a bill of nearly 6000 KShs

Contact: Don't bother. If you must:

Double Dragon

Junction, 4^th Floor

Ngong Road

Tel: 0713 328 688, 0734 328 688